Uxoricide

September 19, 2008

ShesPeak: Uxoricide

By Fiscal Eldred Cole

The headlines scream: “Husband kills wife due to jealousy,” “Estranged husband is freed, then kills wife,” “Kids are orphaned when husband kills wife and then himself;” and all too often, we see news on television that a husband kills his wife because she didn’t cook dinner, or was suspected of having an affair, or the husband was drunk or high on drugs when the homicide occurred.

Violence is all too common in our society, but an especially traumatic kind of violence, one that can reverberate for decades in the lives of everyone including the community; uxoricide – the murder of one’s wife, is now becoming more prevalent than dengue.

Just a week ago, such a tragedy occurred in Cagayan de Oro City; in a fit of jealousy, the husband shot his wife several times and then killed himself. Meanwhile, at about the same time we saw on television a husband killing his wife because she did not cook her husband’s viand. Such useless tragedies. But could such incidents be avoided? Why do they happen? What could the government, the community and the family do to prevent another commission of domestic homicide or uxoricide?

The law on violence against women and children or R.A. 9262 enacted in 2004 was aimed precisely to prevent domestic violence. However, although it has been found helpful to some, it became a millstone in others. For one, there are no mechanisms ready to assist the victims. In fact in Cagayan de Oro City, we do not have a machinery to facilitate assistance to victims. Oh sure, we have the Cagayan de Oro Women Development Center intended to be the temporary shelter of victims of spousal abuse, but hey, isn’t it closed because a client was raped inside the premises? In fact it remains closed because there is no trained staff to man (or woman) it, no personnel available to operate it, no budget to sustain its operation, and not enough amenities for a decent stay in it. What a laugh.

For another, the victims do not know where to go after they are victimized: sure they go to the Barangay Captain’s Office for assistance and ask for a protection order and what does a lowly-paid, politician-wanna-be Barangay official do? Conciliate the spouse (which is prohibited by law), or advice the wife to forgive the husband (as it was supposed to be her job as a wife), berate the husband a little, send them home and record it as achievement for documentation purposes as part of accomplishment report for Lupong Tagapamayapa Incentive Awards.

Or if they go to the police for assistance, the overburdened, underpaid and untutored police officer at the desk will either refer them to the DSWD, or advice the wife to forgive the husband or sometimes, if the victims are extremely lucky, the police officer actually helps them file the case with the City Prosecutor’s Office. And at the prosecutor’s office, the poorly paid gender insensitive and untrained prosecutor will either file the case in court after generating a lot of promises from the victim that she will never ever withdraw her complaint against her husband or advice the wife to forgive the erring spouse and dismiss the case, thus declogging the office’s docket load. And if the case actually reaches the court, the wife can no longer be found, or took pity at her husband and eventually forgave him and asked for the dismissal of the case she filed (despite protests from the prosecutor, the police, the DSWD, the advocates who assisted her, the neighbors, and the rest of the people of the Philippines).

It is indeed a long and confusing process for the victims to pass through; no wonder that at the end of the day, the wife just admits defeat and throws in the towel. And for some, that might be the catalyst for her demise. For the number one risk factor of domestic homicide is separation from spouse or even a hint of it, followed by depression, a history of domestic violence, prior threats to commit suicide or suicide attempts, possession or access to weapons like firearms, obsessive behavior, control of the victim’s activities, excessive alcohol or drug use, attempts to isolate the victim, escalation of violence, destruction of the victim’s property, perpetrator unemployed, prior threats to kill the victim or threats with a weapon, forced sexual acts or assaults during sex, isolation of victim, new person in victim’s life, perpetrator witnessed violence as a child, violence against pets or livestock, ad infinitum. And if any woman should have just even one of the risk factors above-written or any analogous factor that shouts danger, please call the following telephone number; but wait, we don’t have a domestic violence hotline, so just call for help, some Good Samaritan might hear you. (For comments and violent reactions e-mail me at coi_416@hotmail.com)

Written by admin · Filed Under Columnists, Sai/Mami/Fiscal Eldred Cole