Sex Drive and Violence

November 7, 2008

Sex Drive and Violence

I was with some of my women friends a couple of weeks ago, and they implored me that since I’ve been discussing women’s concerns in this column, I might as well keep it going. In fact, they taunted me to take on marriage, children, and sex. Boy, such a gigantic task for a person who is not in authority to talk on these particular subjects. Asking me to write about marriage, children and sex is like asking the Pope to make a treatise about hip-hop. But, being a person who does not buckle away from a good challenge, why not? It’s like having my tooth extracted, it can be done but the process is very painful.

So I asked them, where do I start? And they said; start with the most salacious topic. I have my marching orders, so let’s start with women’s sex drive.

After surfing and clocking a lot of time in the internet, I stumbled upon a ludicrous number of studies done on female libido, mostly coming to the conclusion that every kind of woman – whether they are pre-menopausal, pregnant, peri-menopausal, menopausal, or post-menopausal – has a low sex drive.

But I have one big predicament with this finding. Just whose sex drive are these women with “low sex drive” being compared to? Other women with an average or a high sex drive? I don’t think so, because no one really knows what an average female sex drive is. Unfortunately, the only thing we have to compare it to is men’s sex drive. Now, when you’re comparing a woman’s sex drive to that of a creature who relieves sexual tension through inanimate objects and pretty much anything that’s breathing, you’re always going to conclude that, “Yes, women really have a lower sex drive than men.” Comparing the sex drive of men and women is like comparing apples and oranges.

And what’s supposed to be causing this apparent lack of desire to make “whoopee?” Well, the studies concluded it’s because women have lower amount of the hormone testosterone than men.

The studies further hypothesized that if the absence of testosterone is the problem, the answer to this dilemma is: give women testosterone. Wait a minute, why should women be the ones to change? Why is it that women should work to artificially raise their sex drives? Why not let men take some concoction to lower their sex drive? Everything then becomes a gender issue. It has to be the woman who has to take the responsibility of creating a sense of balance, as always.

Look, instead of selling testosterone patches and herbal remedies for women to increase their sex drives, it would be better to start marketing estrogen patches for men to relieve that pesky “horny” feeling, kind of like a reverse horny goat weed. Testosterone patches for women are still in the development stages, while estrogen patches and medicine products already exist.

And what about violence? Testosterone, the male sex hormone, also happens to be the “rage” hormone, and it’s a fact most perpetrators of violent crimes are men. In fact, several studies of homicides committed between 1976 and 2004, over 85 percent were committed by men. What would happen to the statistics for violent crime if men were wearing estrogen patches? Would they grieve over the cost of laundry soap and fabric conditioner after some guy in a bar spilt beer over their shirt instead of adding blood to the stain by head-butting him? Would they wine and dine their girlfriend in the hope of ending the evening with a nice cozy cuddle, instead of plying her with alcohol in the hope of getting lucky? Would they readily shake hands after an argument instead of exchanging blows? Or would they turn into “momma’s boys”, who cry more at the end of the movie A Walk to Remember than women do?

But the heavier question is: do we even want men who are more like women, or women who are more like men? By trying to bring women’s and men’s sex drives closer to each other, through continued research and study, are we merely masculinizing women and feminizing men? As Shakespeare so eloquently put it, “Aye, there’s the rub.” (For comments and/or violent reactions e-mail me at coi_416@hotmail.com)

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Written by admin · Filed Under Columnists, Sai/Mami/Fiscal Eldred Cole