Home Alone on New Years Eve

January 10, 2009

By Dr. Bob Ocio

Breaking the Walls

Being alone can be loneliness. But loneliness is a state of mind because there was never a time in us that we were really alone, for if it was, how can God claim that He is everywhere?

When Ninoy Aquino was all alone in jail, it gave him the opportunity to have nothing to do but to pray and reflect more about God , family and country. He learned to count his days in jail, then later learned to count the Hail Mary’s and our Father’s in prayerful meditation of Christs Joy, suffering and glory. He later forgave his jailers. He even went to imitate God by offering his life to save democracy in his country.

When a former mayor was tempted to receive a commission from a government project, he was told that there were only two of them, but he retorted that there were actually three of them; and the third one was God. There could well be a fourth, the devil.

I too learned that being out of job, family and country can be an opportunity to commune with God and family. As a matter of fact, it made me pray more often that I learned to pray like I never prayed before. My kids and wife told me that I was communicating with them more often and that I had more time with them thousands of miles away, than I was an inch away in our jampacked bedroom. However, these were also the best times for the devil to oppress me and tell me that I did have the best reasons to be depressed and blame everyone else for my affliction. The devil too, told me that the best alternative could be to try alcohol or some nocturnal entertainment. But I was already caught up with Gods presence. Besides, my father’s soul was so important to me, I had to pray for his conversion when he was still alive.

The eve before the 2009 New year, I was confronted by my wife Ating’s claim that she was lonely without the kids, family and her favorite reunion of family and friends. But a dinner for two, gave us time to reflect on the sorrows and blessings of the year 2008 and the hopes of the days to come. Then I realized now that it was a dinner for three with God; and a dinner for everybody in the Spirit.

King David was lonely when his son was killed. But it was the time when he had the opportunity to see his wicked ways and to repent for his sins.

Dads death gave us great realizations. My sister Ipay once wrote that praying for him and his afflictions and heartaches before death, gave us an opportunity to commune with God as a family. His sudden death lead to reconciliation with some decades old conflict with an in-law. I have read the teribble account of my brother, Junjie on how he missed my father while sailing on a ship overseas this season. I have sensed how painful for another brother Edward to learn of my fathers death that he had to insist on an emergency vacation despite the fact that he just started a few days on board another overseas ship. My case could be worse, my father died but I could not see his face because I was awaiting the issuance of my student VISA. Though I wrote, made almost daily offerings for the mass, included dad in my petitions during the Couples for Christ prayer meetings, asked my mom, brothers and sisters, and my kids to pray and to send bible text messages for my father, I dreaded the thought that two unsused phone cards for me to call him were left hanging on the wall 2 months before his death despite the request of my wife to call him.

The most terrifying moment in my life though was when I learned of my fathers sudden death. I thought he might have not been going to church as he rarely went to church. I cried and shouted as if I resented having not done enough to bring him back to God and as if he was being dragged by the devil to hell. But I was wrong, I learned that there were many of us praying for my dad. I learned too, that dad was already going to church for a long time and he was a member of the choir. I learned that his last 2 text messages 2 hours before he died were, “Me have faith” and “me pray”. He also had an altar in his room which he regularly decorated with flowers. I learned from my mother that the person who sold him the flowers accounted to her that my dad asked her “to pray before she opens her flower shop.” Though he had some imperfections, I was comforted with his declarations. We also learned that before dad’s death, my aunt and cousins were also praying for dad’s conversion miles away from San Francisco. This brought us to a realization that we were not left alone in our prayers and that Somebody out there heard it. Even in our times of sorrow, we thought that we needed God to sustain us and to pray for dad and for one another for the rest of our lives.

My wifes family situation looked more tragic. About a year ago, her nephew’s wife, Gigi, had an allergic reaction to crabs. She was hospitalized and was in coma. While in the hospital, Gigis father in law and my wife’s brother Junior died of heart attack. Gigi had to come and go in the hospital spending hundreds of thousands that drained the family resources. She is still in coma. Then, another brother was hospitalized for a heart problem and another died due to stroke. The family and Patrick could not have survived without God in the midst of all these. They were not alone. Patrick just wrote to us on New Year, ”2008 was a turbulent year but I couldnt have made it without your prayers, advices and support. Life goes on for 2009.”

Then my Aunt Virgie, wrote me that she was left all alone on new Years eve in San Francisco. She contradicted herself later that she had a very lovely celebration with God and maybe His angels. The devil perhaps was resentful and jealous, my aunt failed to invite him.

Times of seclusion, sickness, death and affliction can be very lonely. But this is the best time for us to believe that God would be lonely too if we refuse to recognize that He is always there.

God is more than enough. He wants to be counted in.

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