By  Dr. Bob Ocio

Breaking the Walls

Being alone can be loneliness. But loneliness is a state of mind because there was never a  time in us that we were really alone, for if it was, how can God claim that He is everywhere?

When Ninoy Aquino was all alone in jail, it gave him the opportunity to have nothing to do but to pray and reflect more about God , family and country. He learned to count his days in jail, then later learned to count the Hail Mary’s and our Father’s in prayerful meditation of Christs Joy, suffering and glory. He later  forgave his jailers. He even went to imitate God by offering his life to save democracy in his country.

When a former mayor was tempted to receive a commission from a government project, he was told that there were only two of them, but he retorted that there were actually three of them; and the third one was God. There could well be a fourth, the devil.

I too learned that being out of job, family and country can be an opportunity to commune with God and family. As a matter of fact, it made me pray more often that I learned to pray like I never prayed before. My kids and wife told me that I was communicating with them more often  and that I had more  time with them thousands of miles away, than I was an inch away in our jampacked bedroom.  However,  these were also the best times for the devil to oppress me and tell me that I did have the best reasons to be depressed and blame everyone else for my affliction. The devil too, told me that the best alternative could be to try alcohol or some nocturnal entertainment. But I was already caught up with Gods presence. Besides, my father’s soul was so important to me, I had to pray for his conversion when he was still alive.

The eve before the 2009 New year,  I was confronted by my wife Ating’s claim that she was lonely without the kids, family and her favorite reunion of family and friends. But a dinner for two, gave us time to reflect on the sorrows and blessings of the year 2008 and the hopes of the days to come. Then I  realized now that it was a dinner for three with God; and a dinner for everybody in the Spirit.

King David was lonely when his son was killed. But it was the time when he had the opportunity  to see his wicked ways and to  repent for his sins.

Dads death gave us great realizations. My sister Ipay once wrote that praying for him and his afflictions and heartaches  before death, gave us an opportunity to commune with God as a family. His sudden death lead to reconciliation with some decades old conflict with an in-law. I have read the teribble account of my brother, Junjie  on how he missed my father while sailing on a ship overseas this season. I have sensed how painful for another brother Edward to learn of my fathers death that he had to insist on an emergency vacation despite the fact that he just started a few days on board another overseas ship. My case could be worse, my father died but I could not see his face because I was awaiting the issuance of my student VISA. Though I wrote, made almost daily offerings for the mass, included dad in my petitions during the Couples for Christ prayer meetings, asked my mom, brothers and sisters,  and my kids to pray and to send bible text messages for  my father, I dreaded the thought that two unsused phone cards for me to call him  were left hanging on the wall 2 months before his death despite the request of my wife to call him.

The most terrifying moment in my life though was when I learned of my fathers sudden death. I thought he might have not been going to church as he rarely went to church. I cried and shouted as if  I  resented having not done enough to bring him back to God and as if  he  was being dragged by the devil to hell. But I was wrong, I learned that there were many of us praying for my dad.  I learned too,  that dad was already going to church for a long time and he was a member of the choir. I learned that his last 2 text messages  2 hours before he died were, “Me have faith” and “me pray”. He also had an altar in his room which he  regularly decorated with flowers. I learned  from my mother that the  person who sold him the flowers accounted to her  that my dad asked her “to pray before she opens her flower shop.” Though he had some imperfections, I was comforted with his declarations.   We also learned that before dad’s death, my aunt and cousins were also praying for dad’s conversion  miles away from San Francisco. This brought us to a  realization that  we were not left alone in our prayers and that Somebody out there heard it. Even in our  times of sorrow,  we thought that we needed God to sustain us and to pray for dad and  for one another for the rest of our lives.

My wifes family situation looked more tragic. About  a year ago, her nephew’s wife,  Gigi, had an allergic reaction to crabs. She was hospitalized and was in coma. While in the hospital, Gigis father in law and my wife’s brother Junior died of heart attack. Gigi had to come and go in the hospital spending hundreds of thousands that drained the family resources. She is still in coma. Then, another brother was hospitalized for a heart problem and another died due to stroke. The family and Patrick could not have survived without God in the midst of all these. They were not alone. Patrick just wrote to us on New Year,  ”2008 was a turbulent year but I couldnt have made it without your prayers, advices and support. Life goes on for 2009.”

Then my Aunt Virgie, wrote me that she was left all alone on new Years eve in San Francisco. She contradicted herself later that she had a very lovely celebration with God and maybe His angels. The devil perhaps was resentful and jealous, my aunt failed to invite him.

Times of seclusion, sickness, death and affliction can be very lonely. But this is the best time for us to believe that God would be lonely too if we refuse to recognize that He is always there.

God is more than enough. He wants to be counted in.

Related Posts

• No Related Post

Bob Ocio, DMD, RN.

If only, we can break the walls that divide our country

If only, we can wake up early each morning and start to pray,

Then, God and the heavens will be pleased with how we start our day;

If only, we can praise His Holy Name as we start our journey,

Then we shall remember that we can do nothing without Thee.

If only, I can have a grateful heart to thank Thee every single day,

Then, I cannot think that what I have is all because of me;

If only, I can ask for His wisdom to know His will for me,

Then, I can be sure that He will always be there to guide me.

If only, I can ask to plant every tree that the Lord has made for me,

Then our children cannot lie on the street hungry and wary ;

If only, I can ask Him to make me fill the land He lends me,

Then I may not see children whose parents work from far away.

If only I can kneel for a single soul each and every day,

Then I shall be blessed with hope that a man is at peace with Thee;

If only I can ask for forgiveness for my sins against Thee,

Then He shall have mercy to cleanse me, heal me and to keep me.

If only, we can pray as one family, and then, one country,

Then the Lord will see us, bless us and keep us from anxiety;

If only, we make ways for others as He did for you and for me,

Then we can share the joy of peace, love and equitability.

If only , we can believe in the CHANGE that we can dream to be

Then we can start to wake up, get up , and walk the right way;

If only, we can treat our countrymen as brothers in a selfless way,

Then God can heal our land and His truth shall set us free

(A reflection by bobocio60@yahoo.com March 19, 2008, edited December 4, 2008; New York)

Related Posts

• People Power and Change

Breaking the Walls

“The worst of the Filipino today is an opportunity to bring the best in us.”

We said at EDSA, “people power”. Twice we invoked that. Yet, nothing is left of us today but our faith not in ourselves as a people but in what we still can believe in.

It is in the belief in ourselves that we thought we won at EDSA. Yet, it was the faith of Ninoy and the rest of the millions at EDSA that won it for us. Yet, we kept the faith only to our own selfish ways. Hence the stupor, the indifference and the loss of our self respect as a nation. But God is good. He left us now with nothing but an opportunity to see Him as our strength not only by a mere declaration of faith but by the act of our faith. He left us with nothing but to see the difference between truth and fiction; between truth and lies, between truth and the poverty of the spirit.

The truth is, it will not be “people power” which can humanize us. It will not be us who can keep us together. It will never only be about us because without the faith that Ninoy kept, the sense of sacrifice that Ninoy had shown, we can never get there. Now, we got no other choice but to realize to make use of that faith to work because “faith without work is dead.” This is a journey and the road ahead is rough but faith we can keep. Faith we can hold on to. Faith, we can work on. Faith only in “people’s power” is not enough. But faith in Gods power can move us. Faith in Gods Power can make us move mountains. Faith can make us powerful against the GMAs and the Congressmen and the Bolante’s of our times. Faith make us tell these leaders that they can take our lives but they cannot take our souls. They cannot take our spirits.

They cannot take us away from our God. Faith can make us different to make the difference the way Fr. Panlilio did in Pampanga. Faith can make us believe that we are capable of change the way Obama did in America. But faith we must keep, we must keep it for the love of God and our country. Let us keep that faith burning. We must not waiver, we must not falter. We can tell the evils in our society that their power is nothing. We can tell all the GMA’s of the world that like Marcos, their powers are meaningless and the darkness that they bring us will not stop us from seing the light.

There is hope, there is light. I have been through with these fights all of my life.

Change did not come, until I realized that change must come from within. Do we mean we can tell them its alright for them to continue running this country like hell? The answer is no. The answer is that we must keep hell out of our inner lives. That will be like a candle illuminated in the dark. And when the right time comes, we will win this race.

The worst that we have today will only bring us to realize that what is left is the best in us….. which they cannot take from us…. our faith in God and our love for our country.

Related Posts

• Breaking the Walls
• Barack Obama’s Mama